it feels like i only know how to write about one thing these days.
me and you.
you and me.

i never knew that becomming a mom would change everything about me,
for forever.

i never knew that i could be so invested in a tiny little person.
i never knew i could love to this capacity.
i never knew i could give, this much, like it is nothing.

sometimes, in the dead of night, when i can't sleep, i'll sneak so so quietly into your room and watch you sleep.
even if its too dark to see your perfect tiny features, i know them by heart.
listening to your steady breathing, calms my troubles, and puts me at ease.

oh little darling girl.. do you know how tortourous it is to delight in every new thing you learn..and yet mourn that very same thing?
only a mother can know the wanting so much to stop time. to freeze our children. to keep them close to us.
only a mother can know the joy of watching our children learn, and grow.
and yet..dread the next big milestone.

oh sweet daughter of mine..do you know how beautiful it is to see your eyes light up and the simplest thing?
to see you laugh and squeel at a bug on the ground?
to watch you figure out the buttons on the dishwasher? so intent on doing it..no matter how many times i say no.
to hear you learn a new word! you little chatter box. today int he car you called me weird.
i laughed and laughed.
it made my day.

here's the thing little miss.
you are going to grow up.
and no matter what..that time monster is going to gobble up this time..and move us to the next.
and then what?

oh baby girl.
do you know what i wish even more than freezing time?
i wish for you to be everything.
i wish for you to be the best.
i wish for you to shine, and be amazing.

we cant stop time.
but...guess what my little one.
no matter your age, no matter our distance, no matter what.

once your mother.
always your mother.